Alone
by Amarcrinum
Summary: "Sometimes life is too hard to be alone, and sometimes life is too good to be alone." Inspired by a head-canon. Raven wants to be alone for the sole fact that she can care for herself. Well, she used to.


_Inspired by a head-canon posted on a Teen Titans Tumblr blog._

* * *

She wasn't going to raise her voice at him again, not like this, not for something this mediocre, so silly, so… "You're being ridiculous right now, Garfield. Stop asking me that trivial question." But, there he was, holding his arm in front of her against the threshold. Why wouldn't he let her through? She wants to be alone. _Why is this so much to ask?_

"Me? _Ridiculous_? You're the ridiculous one, Raven. You push me away, then pull me back. Back and forth, back and forth!" He towered over her now, even though he's a year younger. She stopped growing years ago. But, this doesn't intimidate her in the slightest. It never has. "I don't understand what you want from me anymore." Her indigo eyes glow hot red and she starts to close the small space between their faces with fury against her brow.

"You don't understand because _you don't_ _understand_ me, Beast Boy. You _still_ don't get it. We've had this stupid conversation over and over; I'm done talking about this." With pet names dropped, she paused for a brief moment to see a flash of worry and pain strike his green eyes. But, she doesn't falter. She's not going to let him win this one. "Let me pass. _Now._ "

He doesn't falter, either. Instead, he grows in size, taking the form of a gorilla and holding his position at the doorway. He grunts some animal noise at her, signaling that he isn't budging. _Not until you talk to me, Raven._ His mind shouts, knowing her radio-mind antenna can hear him, loud and clear. _Stop running away from this and let me help you._ He bares his teeth in some sort of sympathetic offering, to, perhaps, give the dark girl an idea of promise. _I can help you. That's why we're going through this together._

With each time his voice enters her brain, her eyebrow twitched. It wasn't working and he was grabbing at the final straws of her patience. To solve all problems, a deep sound in her throat snarls and her entire body becomes engulfed in black. "I don't have time for this nonsense." As her being seeps through the tile, the hero takes back his human form and pushes forward to grab her. But, she's already gone, through the cracks of the floor and back into her shadowy prison she created for herself. He stomps his foot against the tile at where she stood.

"Stop running away from me!"

Realizing where he originally stood, he spun around in time to feel the rush of pressure from her energy boot him from the threshold and out into the hall. With a slight scream, he hit the wall, back first, and scrambled to catch some sort of footing while her door slid closed, sealed. Despite all forms of animal, physical strength he could call upon, nothing would break the dark barrier that held that door against the frame. That didn't stop him from calling upon his rhino form and crashing into the metal, or taking on the form of a mouse and trying to slip through the crack. Finally, after a couple of minutes of beating, he simply stood in front of that door with his human hands pressed against it. Nothing but deep, winded breaths filled the space. He tried to focus that super hearing on anything from her room, but he couldn't find any trace of the demoness. She was deep within the prison.

On the other side of the door, Raven watched the shaking of the door from her bed. The red from her indigo eyes long faded, but was replaced with a shaking worry that either he would break through or she'd never see him again. She couldn't figure which would be worse. When the shaking stopped and all that filled the air was his deep pants, she shut her own shaking eyes. Her body vibrated, as if something was trying to free itself from her chest. When it did come, water broke from the rims of her eyes, but a barrier of darkness encircled her to trap all her worries, tears, and fears away. She never wanted Beast Boy to hear her cry.

* * *

The tower was dark when she finally slipped from her room and into the common area. Beast Boy was long gone; he disappeared back into the folds of his own darkness hours ago. Starfire pressed her to join them for dinner, but Raven had no energy to respond a decline. The alien princess only murmured of leftovers and floated away from her closed door. Her distant attitude was still common among the Titans. And while her stomach longed for nutrients, she didn't leave her room to find food. Her Rage was hungry. For months, the emotion was trapped in the dark dwellings of the demoness's mind. Happy reigned while Rage was guarded by Reason and Logic. But, conversations and arguments like those of that morning rattled the chains, cracked the cage, and allowed the emotion to slip free. Rage was now in control and needed some release.

Raven floated right through the common room, right over half-moon couch, and to one of the computer consoles under the enormous television screen. Her eyes glowed white and the dark aura cloaked the keyboard and mouse, controlling the actions of the computer without lifting a single finger. As the screen flashed, pulling up the records and information of Jump City's criminal watch, Raven was in luck; a robbery was already in process. It seemed that police was able to manage the scene, but a silent alert still appeared on her end. _Maybe they could use some backup…_ She pondered to herself, letting the computer return to sleep mode.

Raven's eyes flashed red and another voice filled her mind. _**Let's go already, demon. I'm tired of hearing you cry yourself to sleep at night.**_

Rage was right; it's time to let the emotions run wild again. Raven pulled her hood over her head and called for her obsidian, raven form to take her to Downtown Jump City.

* * *

Minutes later, the titans was standing in the middle of the alley as men in black pushed each other out of the building. One of them proposed the back way for their getaway; too bad none of them remembered that the police weren't the other ones that watched over the city. When the four of them were shuffling out of the alley, Raven was the only thing standing in the way of their freedom of the dark streets.

"You picked a bad time to rob a store," she called out as they slid to stops. Two of them welded firearms, protecting the two that carried the goods. Immediately, the guns were raised at her, but metal and gunpowder did not frighten the small, but strong demoness. They're a mere hindrance to Raven's plan of release. "Drop your weapons and hands in the air. This is your only warning."

To them, this was a small girl hiding behind the folds of blue and black. They've seen the titans on television before, watched in awe as the five young heroes took out organizations and bosses, but… upon seeing their group's smallest, they felt no awe. Humor? Maybe. One of the men holding the large duffle bag started to laugh. Another, one with a gun raise at Raven's face, only cocked back the hammer to turn the revolver. He chuckled. "I'm actually kinda insulted, boys." He glances at his companions, riffling a chuckle or a laugh from each of them. His gun remains suspended at her face. "Out of all the titans, they send their baby to clean up. Run along. Go home, little girl." His eyes narrow and the smile immediately fades. "We don't wanna hurt you."

Raven, on the other hand, does not rebuttal against the large man. Instead, each of her arms rose from confines of her cloak. In an instant, she murmured her special mantra and allowed darkness to consume the three men standing in the back. As each yelped for help or clawed for safety, all that remained were the duffle bags and a lone gun. The final robber shifted a step backwards, but didn't completely lose sight of the girl in front of him. The flickering of a street lamp out on the street behind her was about to go out; when the darkness came, the man knew the worst was to come.

"I mean it, girl! Move!" The gun rattled in his gloved hand and his eyes through the black mask bulged. His ankles even started to grow weak, but Raven didn't budge. She ran away from a problem already that day; she wasn't about to run away again. Through the darkness, he could only see the white glow of her eyes, but not the smile that grew almost sinisterly upon her lips.

"I said move. Out. Of my. **WAY!** "

Out of nowhere, the man started to open fire on the demoness, who could only momentarily sidestep out of the way instead of getting hit directly. He unloaded the entire chamber of the firearm before scooping down to collect his companion's gun and running forward. Anger breaking with surprise, Raven moved out onto the sidewalk and readied for the man to rip from the alley's darkness, but he didn't come. Instead, only the silence of the night and the quiet wailing of police sirens in the distance. Raven shook off the sudden startle of the robber and narrowed her eyes. She was sure that he was charging at her… then, where'd he go? Her confusion only grew when she peered back into the alley and saw nothing in the darkness, just the two duffle bags full of whatever they managed to scrounge from the shop. The half demon took another step into the darkness, clearing the cloud of rage in her mind and focusing her energy on the surroundings.

Before her energy could even scan the length of the alley, five shots rang out, three connecting with flesh in milliseconds. Raven choked out a gasp, blood immediately slipping through her clenched she could realize it, she was on her back, lying on the concrete with her blood pooling around her. It all happened so quickly that she didn't feel the burning pain of her chest and stomach screaming for help. And through the rapid pounding of her worried heart in her ears, she thought she heard her own voice screaming, too.

 _I guess this is what I get for wanting to be alone._

 _ **And now we are going to die alone, you incompetent fool. I knew you couldn't do anything without me.**_ The emotion inside her boiled with hot laughter. Or maybe that Raven's heart trying to pump a bit harder.

If her eyes couldn't peel away from the sky with her relentless fear of impeding death, she would have rolled them at the emotion. _You won't be doing anything if you let us die, Rage._ And while sarcasm faded, she realized some sort of inevitable. _I… don't want to be alone._

Through the throbbing, hot pain of each wound, Rage pushed aside Logic and Reason to rise to the top. Raven coughed, her entire body rattling in wrenching pain before she felt the warm, spreading aching of anger and hate and revenge. During this, the robber finally showed his face, stepping out into the street from the darkness with the two duffle bags over his shoulders. He glanced down at the bleeding body of the titan and bared his stained teeth in a half-hearted smile.

"Sorry, kid. Shoulda listened to the adult when I told you to scram." He dipped his head quickly out of respect for the quickly departing and spun on his heel, picking up a slight jog down the street. He didn't want to be around when the other titans noticed their beloved was bleeding out on the streets of Jump City.

Good thing he wasn't around, because as soon as Rage got in control, Raven was rising back to her feet. It was a slow motion, like the unhurried rise of a plane before it breaks the sky's windy surface. However, once her body was upright and within the air, she swiftly moved as if there were no extra holes pulsing in torso. The robber didn't even reach the corner before a shadow towered high above him. And before he even noticed that Raven was right behind him, an appendage of pure darkness caught his ankles and slammed him down into the concrete. Whatever dark energy Raven conjured up, it tangled around the robber's legs and pulling him high into the air to face Raven's elevated body. Beneath her robe, more tentacles crawled out, each wanting to pull at the limbs of the man that tried to kill their owner. The robber stared into Raven's four, blistering red demon eyes from an upside down perspective, but that didn't make the situation any less horrifying. The man screamed and squirmed with whatever space the black energy appendage gave him, but this only made the tentacle squeeze harder.

" _ **Why do you squeal like a pig, human? I should slaughter you like the animal you are."**_ With Rage in charge, Raven's voice echoed and cut through the air as if it was passing through another dimension. It was inhuman; it was exactly how she wanted this _filth_ to see her. The appendage squeezed more, rushing all the blood to his face. _**"Call me a child again, human. Say it. Say it!"**_ His mouth opened to respond, but nothing be air escaped from his chest. Discontented with his reaction, Raven's eyes glowed and the tentacle decided that he had lived long enough. Her patience had finally ran thin. With a smile spread across her lips, demon, jagged teeth stained with blood, the tentacle tightened one last time, closing around the robber's body with a deafening crack. Finally satisfied, her tentacle allowed the broken, split body to slip through its aura. Within, Raven watched with utter fear, but Rage laughed as her form returned to its original state.

And with Rage's fading eyes and Raven's grasp back on reality, the titan stumbled backwards into the dark building behind her. Near her feet, the body that once belonged to the man was chopped cleaning apart, profusely bleeding across the sidewalk and into the street. With wide eyes and heavy breathing, she could feel that burning pain coming back through her torso, but it went ignored when the distant wailing of the sirens were not so distant anymore. With fear rising above her senseless murder, she conjured the rest of her energy and seeped into the dark portal.

* * *

Hiding in the shadows, Rage _pushed_ her, _taunted_ her, _bullied_ her.

 _ **Stop running away from your problems and accept them as your own; you're beginning to act too human.**_

After another body rattling, coughing fit, Raven wiped the blood from her chin with a shaky hand. _I am human, Rage._ _ **We're**_ _more human now than we'll ever be._ She paused, concentration clouding when her next words slipped from her mind.

 _ **You're dying like a human. Stop pretending you're something you're not and accept me. I can help you. I can help… us.**_

Help? Since when was Rage the helpful one? The emotion took control by force; nothing it had to offer was handed over. Maybe it realized the demise Raven created. Or Logic was starting to push through the fog and close to pulling Rage back to its cage.

"Alright, Titans, spread out. The robbers said they last saw Raven around this area."

 _ **Looks like your little adventure is over, black bird.**_

Raven opened her eyes and peered out from the dark shadows. With her energy, it made it easy to hide, but not when she spotted the flashlights and green glow of the Titans walking down the alley.

 _I can't let them see me like this._

"Raaaaaaaaavennnn?"

"Friend Raven?"

"Weather keeps messin' with my frequen – wait, I'm picking up something down the end of the alley."

Before they could proceed any further, she had no choice but to let her shadows fall. The dark portal seemed to spit the demoness out, for when she caught footing on the ground, she stumbled forward and needed to catch herself against the dumpster she hid beside. When the light came upon her uncovered face, she managed to peel a bloody hand from her side to shield her weak eyes.

In unison, they called out her name and came running forward, but a dark aura barrier sprang from the dirt to hold them back. She could see their worried eyes, but her head was swimming too much to hear their confused voices. When she caught sight of Beast Boy, she could feel the energy of the barrier grow higher in the air. She especially didn't want him to see her like this, but, knowing the changeling, his stubborn ways would win over her.

Any closer, and he'd catch the scent, too.

Beast Boy turned to the others and held his arms out to signal them to stay. Something was wrong, and he wanted to figure it out on his own. At least given Raven the comfort and space she needed without the crowding worry of Starfire or the demanding pressure of Robin's questions and demands. He took the form of a hawk, soared high above the wall and landed gracefully in the dirt on the other side. The others worriedly prayed for the best on the other side.

Immediately when he stood, he could smell it in the air. His animalistic instincts wailed with pain for their beloved. His human side grimaced and took careful steps forward, as if any sudden movement would spook the girl away.

"Raven, you're bleeding…" His tone sounded as if he was telling her and she didn't know it yet. She remained frozen against the dumpster and the wall, though. Her hand clutched at her robe with fearful shaking. His nose stung with the scent, which only pulled him closer to her side. Too close, too quickly and her arms instantly went up out of habit, but a sharp stab within her abdomen caught her off guard and sent her right into the changeling's arms. "What the hell happened? Who did this to you?"

And as the questions started to build, Rage was still floating around her mind without the chains to pull her back. The emotion pulled at Raven's strings of annoyance immediately. The demoness's eyes glowed red as anger and strength wedged herself away from him. Without thinking, her tone grew hostile. "You're asking too many questions. Get away from me." When his expression hardened with confusion, she slipped from his grasp and pressed against the wall. "I wanted to be alone and it will stay that way, Beast Boy. If you're going to accept me for who I am, you are to leave me alone when I tell you." She snapped, her vision doubling as hot, red eyes split against her forehead. The blood trickling down her lips went ignored. Beast Boy's concerned expression changed to a stern one.

"I'm so _God damn_ tired of this bullshit, Raven." It was weird to hear Beast Boy stand up for himself in a moment like this. It stabbed at her Fear and rattled Rage's patience. Seriousness never crossed his brow many times like this, but he could be serious if he wanted to. "You act all high and mighty, pushing me away like you can handle _everything_ around you, but you can't, obviously." He jabbed a finger in the direction on her chest, causing her to look down. "I'm here to help you live, but I guess you'd rather just die, _alone_. That's right, huh? Does dying sound better than putting up with my _help_ for once in your God damn life?" Her red eyes looked back at his, wide and confused.

Raven suddenly realized that this cold demeanor Rage managed to create wouldn't keep his demands at bay. It wouldn't keep her alive much longer, either. As Raven felt her stance slowly faltering, losing sense of consciousness, she could feel Reason and Logic catching Rage by its ankles and pulling it back into the depths. And as her body shifted sideways, his hands were already against her small shoulders to support her. He could feel her blood through her cloak and staining his hands. "You need to tell me what happened so I can help you." His own stern composure melted as his soft voice blistered her burning ears.

 _No… I… I think I want to live this time,_ her mind spat with minor sarcasm. Guess she was starting to get some control back.

Before she knew it, Sadness and Despair seemed to take each other's hands and join into one. Regret, Guilt… they seemed to be having a field day in Raven's mind at the moment. "I screwed up, Garfield." She choked out through tears and rising blood through her teeth. Rage wasn't around to mask the pain building through her body and she truly felt the blistering sting of each bullet made into her flesh. And as the tears came in waterfalls, her red eyes faded into the large, indigo eyes that Beast Boy loved to wonder at. His body pulled her into an overpowering, yet careful hug, gently wrapping her in his strong arms. Instead of pulling away, she welcomed his warmth and comfort by fitting her head under between his chin and shoulder. "I'll take that help now." She whispered into his neck.

With ease, Beast Boy scooped up the fragile, broken, and bleeding girl into his arms. Behind them, the barrier Rage forced her to create fell as if a wrecking ball crashed into a brick wall. This exposed the worried faces of the rest of the Titans, but the darkness of unconsciousness was too overpowering for Raven to notice.

* * *

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